There is a great deal of truth behind the old saying "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do." Sometimes, the end of a relationship takes one or even both parties by surprise and can be painful, leaving one or the other with hurt feelings.
However, not all breakups have to be this way. Many couples manage to remain close friends despite no longer becoming romantically involved. The following are some tips on how to stay friends after a break up.
Make sure you ended on good terms.
In order to remain friends after a break up, make sure the breakup itself was neither nasty or demeaning. Rarely are relationship endings mutual, so it's important to break up with someone, or take the break up, in a mature, reasonable fashion.
You should also consider the reason why you broke up before deciding to be friends. If you broke up with a boyfriend because he hit you, or if you ended things with your girlfriend because she was constantly accusing you of flirting with other girls, then perhaps it might be best to go your separate ways.
Give it time.
A breakup can be a painful experience, which is why it is important to give things time before jumping into a friendship. Giving it a couple weeks or more is a good idea to let things cool down, not only the pain of the breakup but also the physical desires that may still linger after a breakup. Keeping your distance for a little while will allow you to get used to being single instead of a couple again and help you to avoid making any mistakes. Once you have done that, you can honestly assess what kind of friendship you want and whether you even want one anymore; some people decide that it's too painful to remain friends.
Consider the reason for wanting to be friends.
If you want to remain friends with your ex, you should do so for the right reasons. Examples of the wrong reasons include hanging on with the hopes that the two of you will get back together or wanting to keep tabs on the person and who they date next. However, if you genuinely enjoy the person's company and care about them in a non romantic way, then staying friends is not a bad idea.
If there were children involved in your relationship, it's healthy for all involved if you remain friendly and civil with each other, even if you have no desire to be friends with your ex.
Make sure your understanding of the friendship is clear.
It is important to know the boundaries of your friendship, since it can be easy to feel like a couple again. Know where you stand in terms of calling and talking on the phone, hanging out, and topics of discussion. Often times, two people's definition of remaining friends is two completely different things. One person may think staying friends means saying hi when you bump into each other, while the other person may think it means calling to chat or meeting up for lunch every week.
Know that eventually, the friendship will change.
Even if you decide to stay friends, eventually that relationship will change as you both begin dating other people. Certain topics may become taboo in your relationship as well, so it's a good idea to enter into your new platonic friendship with realistic expectations about its outcome.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS TOPIC? DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE? EXPLAIN YOUR ANSWER?
Josue
30-03-2011 11:14
I agree. Because already despues that a friendship does a relation to itself on having ended it is not the same thing because always one of the two culprit sees other one and the friendship cannot have the same friendship that tape-worm before the relation
Francys lara
10-03-2011 22:05
Good at some things I agree, but it of which the boyfriends algun day podran to be friends NOT I do not believe, of that they are greeted if that treat each other but as friends friends not..
The friends are beautiful mas that we can have, and it seems to me that it is necessary to value them.
That also it is necessary to have time him to the time, when a relation finishes it is painful as he says here, but we have to excel and follow forward that the life is short and have to enjoy it. And always to try to end in good terms not to fill with hatred for anybody and to be burning these stages of the life.
The friendship must be clear and is honest and not to hurt your friend or brother since it let's want to call:)
Elianghela Sanchez
09-03-2011 22:50
I disagree... it's so difficult because you can't call friend a person who you called love... Viviana!
freymar
09-03-2011 20:27
holiis :)
I think the break is something hard and painful for the people. that'S why we need to know and to be taken into account with whom we are running, know that person to that after we arrepintamos and is more hard for us. That'S why it before you have a connection should be known good and lead a relationship of friends and then we have no problems as the break... ;)
ALBERTO
09-03-2011 13:08
I think each person may have or think whatever you want with a person with q and q had a relationship will only have "FRIENDSHIP" but some people think q q only to see them stop pain stopped for having a link and now only gives them pain and melancholy look at and remember those moments that had those two people...;-)
Alejandra Villegas
09-03-2011 12:59
I think that forgiveness is very difficult to get and there are those who have the power or the gift of forgiveness easy, therefore, be friends after a break above all must be considered the personality of both people to reach a common accord of ''friendship'' after this, consider what has been said, one time, because you must break the relationship and who benefits. Be clear about all this happening because the break to happen in the not regret coming back to is not equal to the couple after a breakup.
jose lopez
06-03-2011 12:18
I'm agree and everyone should look for ways to talk to your ex for any type of guardrle not recentemente .. to be as good friends as well and not lose that confidence that both had ..
but the prince is not going to do very easy for the two but speaking it can come up with something :-)
teacher's please accept me this and apologize for the delay! please: D I do not want to stay without notice T_T "
Morillo Ana
05-03-2011 17:14
Thanks for your answers guys!! I'll told you the grades next week! Have a nice holidays and Take Care!! :)
willy_x20
02-03-2011 22:00
i am agree , sometimes , the people look for in other person that confidence , just like who need it , it's so emotional . the friendship with the ex' is posible . I say it cause i have. it's so unfair after of a break they ignore each other , why if they had so many beatiful moments together? always , we here to accept a lost in a good and mature way
